We Would Never Say to Others What We Say to Ourselves

Those afflicted by anxiety are notorious for being self-critical. Unfortunately, this self-criticism only serves to maintain or increase one’s social anxiety or general anxiety level. Many of the anxious have such low self-esteem and are so used to thinking poorly of themselves that they cannot be taught to think otherwise. People who have been anxious for decades are so emotionally run-down that they believe that they are in fact actually worthless and of no good to anyone, when in fact, everyone is worthwhile in some way, and if that is not the case now, a person can be built into someone who is worthwhile and fun to be around.

Sometimes, attempting to help people to change their lives for their own good is completely impossible because they do believe they are worthless people. Some people, such as addicts, instead of choosing to recover because of the obvious health benefits, choose to recover because a family member or friend wants them to. And, whatever works, so long as it makes a person’s life better and healthier, is a good thing to do. So what are some techniques to attempt on people who are past the point of no return and refuse to recover from anxiety in order to improve their own life? As mentioned before, one good way is to have family members say how much they love the person in question and how much they want that person to turn his or her life around.

This article, however, will make an additional point. The reason to stop self-criticism and instead engage positive thinking about one’s self is to consider how something would sound if one said it to another person instead of him or her self. The anxiety-sufferer should imagine him or her self telling another person that he or she is, “A no good and worthless person,” or, “A complete moron who deserves to be alone for the rest of his or her life,” or, “Someone who is completely incapable of doing all the things that everyone else is doing, a real failure.”

When the anxious person thinks of how saying these things to other people might sound if they were actually said, the thought and realization arises that, “Hey, maybe some of these things that I am thinking are horrible things that I should not think about myself. Maybe it would be better for me to think something else instead.” What else could one think?

Everyone has talents that are useful to themselves and other people, whether they know it or not. The anxious person should focus on his or her strengths, even if they are only very small at this point. A person who is healthy and happy has thinking that is dominated by all the things that they do well and all the wonderful things that other people say about them and that they say to themselves.

Changing one’s thinking from self-criticism to self-praise is no simply task. It is, however a long-term one, and the larger amount of time one can commit to thinking about what good things he or she does, the happier and healthier he or she becomes. If the anxious person has a difficult time thinking of positive things about him or her self, then ask a friend. Or, perhaps, a strength is that this person is very analytical and is going through all the bad things about him or herself, while being unable to find the good. Being analytical is a great skill to have; it just needs to be applied so that the anxious person uses it to reduce instead of increase, his or her anxiety.

Whatever the process or procedure used, self-criticism is not healthy and conducive to one’s mental well-being. A certain amount might be, but the anxious in general tend to misuse it and beat themselves up mentally. The point of life is to be happy and enjoy it; hopefully this article helps to identify yet another way that the anxious can turn things around.

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