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Social Anxiety Disorder: Moving Up

Social anxiety disorder is a marked and persistent fear of embarrassing or humiliating one in performance situations, and this performance is usually in front of other people. Many other Anxiety Support Network articles detail various aspects of anxiety (see ASN’s Anxiety Bible, The Nature of Anxiety, and Anxiety: Is it Caused by Nature or Nurture?), so no further discussion will be made of that here.

However, one important thing to note in regard to social anxiety disorder is to know how to move up a level. What is meant by this terminology is that anxiety is leveled and tiered. For example, when a person passes the first level of fear, he or she approaches the next level of fear. Passing the first level of fear means that whatever some of the smallest fears are for that person, perhaps making eye contact for example, are very rarely or even never scary. While little things such as these used to cause great fear in the anxiety sufferer, they no longer evoke that intense fear response. However, this person has moved on to the next level, and at this level are fears that again have been present for some time. Fears at this level could include an intense fear of scrutiny once one leaves one’s house or saying “hello” to a passerby. The point is that the person with the social anxiety disorder has moved past the first level of anxiety and on to the second level of anxiety. He or she has faced and conquered old challenges and is ready for the new ones.

Another metaphor for moving up in social anxiety disorder is that social anxiety, much like any other mental health issue, is somewhat like the layers of an onion. On the inside is a core, and then guarding this core are many different layers of social anxiety disorder. When attempting to address the issue of anxiety, the individual is starting on the outside with the small fears like making eye contact and is peeling away each successive layer until finally he or she reaches the inner core of the anxiety. At this point, the person is fully aware of his or her anxiety condition and the roots of its problems; he or she will still experience anxiety, but that anxiety is very minimal and does not cause the harm it once did in life.

The point of this concept of moving up or peeling away layers is that it is important for someone to note the progress that they have made and the progress they have yet to make. Many anxiety sufferers will become ensnared in the mental trap of, “Oh no, I can’t even talk to a stranger; I am doomed to be a social phobic forever.” The person will think this despite the fact that he or she has made significant progress. For example, he or she might have experienced intense anxiety whenever leaving the house, but now that anxiety is only very minimal, and in some cases might not even be present at all. If the person afflicted by social anxiety disorder takes time to realize that he or she has moved up a level or moved closer towards the core of the problem.

One large point to keep in mind when reading this article is that many people do not realize what moving up is or how it works in relation to anxiety. Many people will move up a level and have some victories, but then once they approach a more threatening situation, they will think that they are too scared and anxious and simply cannot continue to go on, so they become stuck in a rut of anxiety. So, for example, a person might move up to the point where he or she can talk to the store clerk and ask for what it is that he or she wants, or that person might be able to reject an offer from a sales associate and ask for something else instead. Now say that the situation becomes more challenging for that person, and perhaps this person this time attempts to make conversation with a romantic interest, but the romantic interest does not reciprocate the romantic intentions. Many social anxiety disorder sufferers who fail to recognize that anxiety recovery is a process like breaking through the layers of an onion will become upset, disheartened, and “realize” that they are doomed to a life of social anxiety. The onion or moving up analogy should reassure the social anxiety disorder sufferer that he or she has the capability to handle some challenges, however, he or she does not yet have the capability to handle other challenges.

The interesting thing about the conquering of a challenge to social anxiety disorder is that once a person conquers that challenge and can feel secure in that situation on a consistent basis, that change is essentially permanent. There will definitely be days where that person regresses back to an old state, but this is only temporary. For example, for whatever reason, an anxiety sufferer is not able to handle making conversation with strangers, even though he or she has been able to do so with relative ease in recent weeks. Instead of losing faith, this person should view this anxiety simply as a bump in the road and a brief return to old habits; after the next day or two, he or she will wake up and be right on the fast track to success from which he or she just derailed.

Confidence is a difficult thing for a person with any anxiety disorder, but particularly social anxiety disorder, to learn. However, it is important to remember that confident people remember that while they make mistakes, they are not failures. It is in fact okay for everyone to make mistakes – they’re a fact of life! In fact, it has been said that confident people actually make more mistakes than unconfident people because they are more willing to take risks and put themselves in situations where they might make mistakes. The bottom line is that anxiety recovery is a process of recovery that can be described as “moving up” or like “peeling away the layers of an onion.” Layers are peeled away and people move up levels, but they can never permanently regress once they have learned to move on in their recovery. Good luck to everyone as they continue to move up and beyond the limits of their anxiety!

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