The Anxiety Support Network
Getting better one step at a time
   Home      Anxiety Store      Life Coaching      Articles      Podcasts      Speaking      Advertise      About      Contact     

My Social Anxiety has Reduced - What is Next?

So, you have finally made it to a point where you can get out there and function fairly well when doing the things you need to do - working, going to school, making friends, and finding a date, among other things. Now you feel very relaxed and confident in many situations that used to terrify you before, but you are not quite sure what else to do in the world now that you have this increased level of confidence.

After moving past the worst bumps of social anxiety disorder, the first thing that I learned was that I was not nearly as far along as I had believed. Many psychological and psychiatric disorders have a number of issues associated with them, ADHD Combined Type Disorder has as many as six ADHD symptoms associated with it for instance. Things rarely come on their own. There were many other things that were still bothering me, but that I had pushed out of my awareness because there were other difficulties which were far greater and required my attention at the time. With those much larger difficulties out of the way, I realized that it was time to work on these smaller ones.

Some of the smaller difficulties that I suddenly became aware of were things such as making conversation with other people at work. Whereas in the past it was simply my goal to find a job that was enjoyable and hold it down, now the goal became to relax more at work, to the point where I felt as though I was being myself. The same concept applied to college. I had reached the point where I felt fairly comfortable answering questions in class, however, I was often still a loner in some ways; I rarely, if ever, talked to fellow classmates during or outside of class. So, the new goal became to make friends with people in class and to have relaxed and comfortable conversations with them. I will not delve into further detail, but, from these two examples, you get the point.

What I learned after making the shift from large goals to smaller goals is that the more I shored up the social anxiety, the more I became a complete and thriving person. Rather than being the guy on the outside who was a loner or had a chip on his shoulder, I became a valued and respected member of the community. As a result, I found myself becoming a natural leader, the person who people would seek out in times of trouble. I also found my self-esteem and feelings of general well-being increasing.

The final realization that I made when making this shift from larger to smaller goals is that, if I really dig deep, I will find an infinite number of minuscule ways in which social anxiety disorder holds me back in life. I believe that this is a lifelong disorder, but, I also believe that people can learn to manage it to the point where its negative effects have a continually decreasing impact on their life. Even if it is just a minor detail that seems to not be a big difference, I have learned that when you sum up all the details you choose to improve, that eventually adds up to one large difference.

Besides this shift from attaining larger goals to working on the smaller ones, the other major realization that came was how much time I spent by myself. Now that I was past the worst humps of social anxiety disorder, it became a natural inclination for me to become involved with other things in life that were outside of myself, such as the community. Looking back, I can now see the obscene amount of hours I spent alone playing video games, watching movies, or watching TV. A certain level of entertainment is a good thing to have, however, the amount of entertainment in which I engaged was way too much.

For those suffering from social anxiety disorder, a great protective factor against increasing levels of social anxiety is becoming involved and connected with other people. The major thing that I became connected with was a local mentoring program, where I mentored a teen who had been involved with the juvenile justice system for some relatively minor crimes. Attempting to help a teen who was at a tougher place in life really helped me to get outside of myself and help someone else improve their life. Moving outside of myself helped this teen to learn better ways of solving the problems that existed in his own life, and it also helped me to become a stronger person. The mentoring gave the teen and I something to look forward to each week - something that would get us both outside of our heads and into the real world with everyone else. The other really cool benefit was that I learned that I had more strengths and assets than I would have liked to admit; as a result, my self-esteem increased dramatically and I learned to take increasing amounts of risk in order to grow as a person.

The teen's life and the community also became better. The teen, while he still continued to make some bad choices, at least had the recognition that they were bad choices and that there were better ways to solve his problems and live his life. The community was also improved in that the teen had lower levels of involvement with the local law enforcement (which saves time and tax dollars), and the community became a better and safer place in which to live (because of his reduced levels of crime).

I use these examples in order to demonstrate the change that takes place as you gain progressive victories over your social anxiety. The dramatic change is that you lose interest in doing things by yourself and gain interest in doing things that are productive which help both other people and yourself. The minor changes that can take place are innumerable and vary widely by person, but they can and will happen to those who work for them (see ASN's Apply Yourself and You'll be Just Fine for related information).

To end this article, I would like you to think about what it is that you can do to move past your social anxiety today. I sincerely believe that if everyone got to work on improving themselves, that most of the world's problems (poverty, hunger, inadequate healthcare, exploitation etc...) would be dramatically reduced. The neat thing is that you can make a contribution to the world in a myriad of different ways. You can be a volunteer accountant at a local non-profit, walk pets for the human society, or even do things like roadside clean-up! The important thing is that you choose something that fits your strengths and that you enjoy at the same time. So, ask yourself, "Now that my social anxiety has reduced - what is next?"

blog comments powered by Disqus


Bookmark and Share

blog comments powered by Disqus


Free Anxiety Support Network Newsletter Sign up for the free Anxiety Support Network Newsletter which will help you to achieve higher and new levels of living. Improve your mental wellness, make new friendships, find new romantic relationships, enjoy a fulfilling career, and improve your health! Also, receive the 2008-2009 Article E-book for FREE!

Note: You can easily unsubscribe from the newsletter at any time by following the link at the bottom of the newsletter e-mail or by following this link (clicking the link will open a new window).




Overcoming Anxiety - Victim Reveals His Story

The Anxiety Support Network 2011
Free Newsletter  |  Links  |  Privacy Statement  |  Disclaimer