How to Maximize Your Success

As with any profession or undertaking in life, there are certain things which can be done to increase the likelihood of your success. In order to be a successful student, you study hard, sometimes tell your friends you have to stay in for the night, and you ask questions in class. The same concept applies to recovering from social anxiety disorder. Many other articles have described certain methods for increasing your chances for success. Things you can do include setting boundaries (read What are Boundaries? for more information), creating a supportive social network (see Supportive Friends for more on this), directly confronting anxiety-provoking situations (see Run Toward the Roar to learn about this technique), and creating a comprehensive plan for reducing your anxiety from many different angles (see The Anxiety Bible for more on this).

The main key to keep in mind with maximizing your chances of success is to ask yourself this question: “Does this person, product, or situation help, hinder, or have no effect on my anxiety recovery?” When you ask yourself this question and give an honest answer, then you will know what to do. Another point is that if something has no effect on your anxiety, then it is not improving your anxiety, and therefore it might be worth considering if there is something better that could be done instead.

But, think about the people and situations in your life honestly and think about how they make you feel. With people, does a particular person agitate your social anxiety to the point where it is very difficult to handle at times? If so, then it might be wise to begin setting boundaries with this friend, distance yourself from the friendship, or leave the friendship entirely. Many people will run into a very difficult situation when they realize that their family exacerbates their anxiety and is unable or unwilling to understand how they can help. A select few may be willing to turn their backs on their family and find their own way, however, most of us would probably rather have our family in our lives to a certain degree. In this case, it is important to keep an emotional distance and instead focus on what can be done. For example, your family might not be open to discussing anxiety, but they may be great when it comes to working with tough logistical issues such as health insurance, taxes, or buying a new car. This will keep the relationship positive, which will in turn make their lives and your life much easier.

Another difficulty that many with social anxiety may encounter is the fear of socializing in groups. This might be simply too overwhelming and something that a person is unable to do at this point in life. In order to maximize the chances of success, in this case you might choose to simply avoid hanging out with others in groups. Try to find ways where you can socialize with others one-on-one, or maybe in a group of three. Then, once you find that you are able to handle that fairly well, move on to larger groups.

A final situation that could be causing you significant social anxiety is work, which is where you will be spending the majority of time between now and retirement. If your work is unfulfilling and anxiety-provoking to an unbearable point, it might be time to find new work! There are plenty of opportunities out there, and if you are the ambitious type, you can start your own business. However, because of life circumstances, you might not be able to leave your work at this point. If that is the case, take every step that you can to begin heading towards your new career! If you are employed full-time, begin a hobby in your spare time – this is hard work, but when you find what is fulfilling, you will have no regrets about the steps it took to get there (see Creating a Purpose-Driven Life and Causes of Anxiety: Living in the Box for more on this). It seems to be true that if you are continually working towards some type of goal, it will always materialize in its own time.

The point to draw from all of this is to set yourself up so that you have the best chance for success. While you cannot control what happens with people and many situations, you can control which situations you choose to engage in and how you approach those situations. Remember, if something is not helping, then it is hurting. The sooner you make a positive choice, the better off you will be! Remember, you will succeed if you commit yourself to a healthy goal!

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