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Tips for Interacting with the Socially Anxious

Past articles have been written that have demonstrated what is going on in the mind of a socially anxious person. While the brain of any person is complex and the needs of all the people in this world are diverse, this article will at least offer up a few strategies on how one can have a successful relationship with a socially anxious person. Socially anxious people tend to behave in ways that are strange or unusual to the outside viewer, and this article will help to enlighten the reader such that he or she can understand what is going on in a socially anxious person’s head.

The first important point to note is probably that socially anxious people are incredibly sensitive to social cues from others, and social cues that usually do not bother most people can send a socially anxious person into a tailspin that can last several days. For example, if a socially anxious person is interacting with his or her supervisor at work, just talking to that person at a higher level of power is difficult enough. But, if an anxious person is able to do that even, say the supervisor furls his brow at something that the anxious person says, perhaps not understanding what that person is describing. The anxious person then says to him or herself, “Oh my gosh, he thinks I am an idiot. I am an idiot; I shouldn’t have said that.” The person then might lose a great deal of self confidence in the situation and suddenly might start to stutter or stammer, have his or her face turn red, or possibly might begin sweating, and perhaps even all of the above at once. And, do not forget that this can be over something that is very small, such as a furled brow!

The best way to effectively interact with any person, particularly the socially anxious person, is for one to constantly explain what he or she is thinking, so that none of his or her verbal and nonverbal communication is taken in the wrong way. For example, a supervisor might say, “I’m feeling confused because you said…” Or, if a socially anxious person makes a mistake, the most effective way to make the person feel validated and accepted so that the relationship continues to grow is to say, “That’s okay, everyone makes mistakes.” Making statements like these, instead of the typical, “Well, why did ya do it that way? You do it like this!” help the relationship to grow, rather than making the socially anxious person feel like an idiot for making a mistake. The more gentle that one is with a socially anxious person, the better that person will feel and the more effective one’s relationship with that person will be.

The final point to remember is that it is not totally up to other people to accommodate the socially anxious person who has low self-esteem and tends to take things purposely. It is also the duty of the socially anxious person to take steps at becoming more assertive in life because a certain level of assertiveness is required in order to lead a healthy life. Being gentle and understanding of the condition of the anxious person helps to maximize the opportunity for that person’s growth. The socially anxious typically are given few, if any, opportunities for growth in life, and having someone out there to actually help this group is very important. Some may think that the socially anxious are wimps and need to be trampled on in society because someone has to be at the bottom. However, keep in mind that Gandhi was a social anxiety sufferer. Since one of the greatest leaders in modern history was a severe social anxiety sufferer, it is important to remember that any person affected by any condition (each person has his own issues) has the potential to make a difference in the world. So, having an attitude that encourages taking advantage of people, including the socially anxious, is selfish and counterproductive to the greater good of society.

In sum, one just needs to keep in mind to be open-minded, gentle, and understanding when dealing with people who are affected by social anxiety. When the growth of all people, including those affected by social anxiety, is maximized, this leads to a greater amount of good for all of society, and not just the social anxiety sufferer. It is important for people to keep these things in mind as they go about their business each day.

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