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How to Create Abundance for the Social Anxiety Sufferer

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Creating abundance is a topic covered by many personal development blogs, and I thought that it might be interesting to see how that concept applied to social anxiety disorder sufferers. Basically, abundance is the personal feeling of having enough of everything in order to live a complete life – friends, family, romantic interests, time, and money.

People who live lifestyles filled with abundance are happier than others who do not choose to live life with the abundance mindset. Take a moment to consider why this is. First, people who live with a mindset of abundance feel as though they have everything they need in life, and in some areas they might even feel that they have too much. People who live with the opposite mindset, the mindset of lack, believe that they do not and will not quite have everything that they need.

Now, take a moment to examine the different behaviors of people with an abundance mindset versus people with a mindset of lack. The social anxiety sufferer who has an abundant mindset might say, “I have a good amount of friends to share life with at this time; it is wonderful and fulfilling.” And, if he is the type of person who feels he does not quite have the number of social connections he desires, he will also say to himself, “I know that I have many wonderful qualities which are beneficial to others. What I need to do is to go out into society, figure out where I fit in, and share those qualities with others, and I'm sure I'll make many wonderful friends.” Conversely, examine the person who has a mindset of lack. He may think to himself, “I'm a loser because I have one friend, and he's a lousy friend. If only I had some good friends, then I would be happier.”

Now, analyze the difference between the two people here who have very different mindsets towards abundance. The second individual, who believes that he does not have enough friends also believes that he does not have anything to offer the world; he lives a life of lack. Further, since he believes that he has nothing wonderful to offer the world, it is very unlikely that he will take any actions to make friends in the future. He will simply chalk it up to poor circumstances and continue living life as it currently stands. Now, examine the individual who has an abundant mindset, believing that he has much to offer the world. If he already has many friends, then he is set, nothing more is needed. However, friends come and go, and perhaps this person finds himself in a situation where he does not feel as though he has as many social connections as he would like. Notice that he also has an abundance mindset in relation to his personal skills; he believes that he has many gifts to offer the world. This person will act in accordance with his beliefs as well. He knows he has many gifts to share, so he moves out into the community and shares those gifts by volunteering with his favorite organization. While he does not become a leader and the center of attention, he nonetheless makes a few casual acquaintances and one good friendship because he has chosen to share his skills with others.

This is basically how the abundance process works for social anxiety sufferers, speaking strictly from the social standpoint. The more that you share with others, the more that comes back to you. Creating abundance forms an upward cycle of giving, sharing, and happiness; it is the opposite of the vicious cycle of anxiety that drags us down. You will never know how or when things will come back to you, but come back to you they will.

One important caveat for social anxiety disorder sufferers is that we all have had that time in our lives, or perhaps we are experiencing it right now, where we feel as though we have no positive qualities to share with other people. We are too boring, inhibited, or anxious to share, so why even try in the first place? This is a very tough spot to be in, however, there is always a way to work out of such a spot, and the solution is rather simple. All you can do is to identify what it is that you do well, and figure out how that can benefit others. You may be surprised by the talents you did not realize you have. I work very well with autistic children, and when I was working and began receiving high praise, I thought to myself, “What? This is so easy! How can this possibly be a talent? Can’t everyone do this?” And the truth that I learned thereafter is that it is a skill just like anything else. If you really have no idea what it is that you can do well at this time, there is always something you can do for someone else. If you have patience, do after school reading with children. You could also shovel snow, rake leaves, or do spring cleaning for senior citizens. You might volunteer with Big Brothers and Big Sisters, or perhaps you might simply file paperwork for your favorite local nonprofit organization. The point is that the possibilities are endless, and there is something that everyone can do in order to create abundance in their own lives and the lives of others (see also Changing the World by Treating Anxiety and My Social Anxiety has Reduced – What is Next? for further information about the change that can be made in this world).

So, how do you create abundance exactly? The previous paragraph demonstrated how you can create abundance by giving your time and talents. Here are some additional ways for creating abundance in the world:

  • Financial donations. Make a financial donation to your favorite cause or charity, perhaps your church. For many people, giving a few dollars to a large organization such as the Red Cross is meaningless because they do not feel they have made a difference. A more personally meaningful method of donation may be to buy food and donate it to a local homeless shelter, or to purchase a new basketball for an after school program. You can see the impact you have made, and for many this is more meaningful.
  • Brighten a random person’s day by making a joke. Not only is this a great way to challenge social anxiety, but it is also a great way to increase another person’s happiness. Not only will this brighten the other person’s day, but it may also cause them to brighten the lives of others, and you will feel good for making that difference. If you do not know how to initiate a social interaction or any good jokes, look some up online. Some people will respond negatively – simply ignore them and move on.
  • Increase the confidence of others. If someone is struggling with their social anxiety and self-confidence, tell them how confident you are that things will go well with them, even if you are struggling on your own. Avoid the generic comments like, “You can do it!” because people will take that as being insincere. Instead, use examples from that person’s life to show that they can do it. Say, “I noticed that you were really good at handling that difficult customer the other day. That’s tough, and not everyone can do it. Keep up the good work!” Not only will you help that person today, but also that person is likely to respond positively to you and others in the future. This can again create a rapid upward cycle of goodness.
  • Generate ideas by offering your own. If you are attempting to solve a problem presented by social anxiety, or a problem in another area of your life, offer up your ideas to others, even if you do not have the solution. They will likewise offer their own ideas, and perhaps both of you will come up with additional new ideas based on your discussion.

Overall, it is more important to be aware of what good you can offer the world, no matter what form it takes, and no matter how insignificant you might feel the good is. If you stumble into people who are not open to this mindset and would rather talk about their ideas and justify how those ideas are better, simply move on to another person. You may inspire a person by offering ideas, even if they are not open to abundance at this point, but ultimately you cannot change another person.

Whenever you choose to offer good, it creates a cycle of increased good in the world, and some of that good will come back to you. The cycle may only run a few actions long (i.e. you compliment your friend and he compliments others, producing better moods in several people) or it may run many actions long (i.e. Gandhi stood up for his country and inspired others to do the same leading to India’s eventual independence). The point is that the only place things can go is up. So, consider what it is that you can be doing today in order to create abundance in the world, and see where it goes!



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