How a Strong Spirituality Reduces Anxiety

One very difficult thing for social anxiety sufferers to learn over the course of their lives is the fact that they cannot control the outcome of various situations. We cause ourselves a large amount of undue stress because we constantly focus on what we did or could have done in order to attain the outcome that we desired.

For example, if we did not land that hot date, we will often say to ourselves, “If only I were more confident when asking her out, then probably I would have gotten the date.” We might also be tempted to say, “If I would have used a more witty line of conversation, then she probably would have found me more interesting and I probably wouldn’t be single anymore.” The common theme among these lines of thinking is that we are putting the focus on ourselves and what we could have done in order to get what we felt was best for us.

But, perhaps, and this is just a theory, perhaps we were simply mistaken! Maybe, even though we would like to believe that getting the hot date was the best thing for us, maybe that was not the thing that was really best for us. Perhaps that hot date was really a psycho who only would have created much more chaos and misery in our own lives!

Probably the most powerful anxiety reducer of all the different methods is to have a strong spirituality (see What the Bible Says about Anxiety for related information). For me a strong spirituality means believing in the Christian God; others may have their own ideas about God, which is fine. This article, however, will not turn into a theological debate about whose God is the right God to believe in; I am simply stating what works for me.

Recently, I have been going through deep feelings of inadequacy about this new promotion at work that I have received. I have wanted it for a long time and have felt that I could do it for a long time, and now finally, my time has arrived! However, rather than being excited about the promotion, most of my feelings were ones of dread. I was afraid because so much more was going to be expected of me; the entry-level position came naturally and was comfortable – overall it went very well. Now, however, I would be in a supervisory position where families would be placing a high level of expectancy on me to help their child grow and develop. I was very upset and afraid because I felt like what I was doing was not good enough; people generally gave me positive feedback, but if I saw anything going any way that was less than perfect, I felt like I was only making mistakes and not doing what I should be doing in my position. This continued for several weeks, until very recently.

What eventually broke the cycle was that I learned that it was God’s will for me to be in this position at this point in my life. I had tried going to a different job and that job did not work out at all. But, after sitting down and analyzing my strengths and interests and examining what other jobs were out there, I realized that everything leads back to right where I am. To me, that means that God wants me here, and if God wants me here, God wants me to do well. I believe that God only wants good for us – sometimes it takes a bit of our messing things up before we realize that, but I believe that to be the case. But, once I realized that and that God will help me through these difficult situations where I feel inadequate, the feelings of inadequacy, fear, and anxiety went away strongly. There are times where these feelings come back to a small degree, but right now, my dominate feelings are calmness, confidence, and peace. And, if worse comes to worse and I end up fired for some reason, then that is God’s will and his way of leading me to something else; my interpretation of such a situation would be that I knew full well that I should be going to something else but that I was refusing. Therefore, more blunt tactics must be used.

So, in anything and everything, I now ask God what to do, even regarding very mundane decisions in life. When I place that focus outside of myself, I receive calmness, confidence, and peace as a result, and things around me end up well. However, if I begin to place that focus on myself and what I can do to get better, then life becomes more stressful because I blame myself for what could or should have been done better.

Of course, some people will now begin to ask the question,“If dependence on God is the solution to everything, then why use any of the methods explained on this site at all? After all, God is all powerful, and this means that there would be no need for any techniques.” The answer to this question is that not only does God work in a spiritual sense of leading us from situation to situation in life, but he also works through people and other techniques. For example, we have been designed in such a way that we need the help of other people in the form of supportive friends (see Supportive Friends for more on this), counseling (see the Benefits of Counseling), and help in the form of techniques such as letting go (see Letting Go of Outcomes Reduces Anxiety). God wants us to call on him to help him through situations, but he also provides us with a great toolbox for working through any situation. If you are at a dead end and are unable to find any other tool that works, give spirituality a try – it works!

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