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Fake It 'Till You Make It

An almost limitless number of methods (For other methods, see ASN’s Anxiety Bible, Catastrophic Thinking, and Affirmations. Many other articles cover other methods for reducing anxiety, however, these are a few to get the reader started.) exist that can help to reduce one’s anxiety, and yet another will be presented in this article. The idea for reducing social anxiety here is to “Fake it ‘Till You Make It,” which means that the individual planning on recovering from anxiety should make his or her best attempts to think and act how they believe someone who has already recovered from anxiety would act or believe in varying situations.

For example, a socially anxious person would begin to act like a confident person would in social situations. What would a confident person do? He or she would let the waiter know that a mistake was made on his or her order instead of just letting it go. In the past, the socially anxious person might just get angry and say nothing, but now that he or she has adopted the idea of faking it ‘till he or she makes it, he or she would let the waiter know, in a calm and direct manner, that something was not quite right with the order. While the person may display some anxiety and not actually be that confident when performing this act, this person is nonetheless making the attempt to be more confident and assertive when in public.

Over the short term, this might actually cause the person more anxiety because he or she is stepping outside of his or her usual comfort zone, and in reality, this person might even appear just as anxious or more anxious in particular situations than he or she did in the past. But, the point of moving outside one’s comfort zone is that he or she can expand what he or she is comfortable with. While it might be rather unnerving and anxiety-provoking to ask the waiter to correct the order right now, it will become much easier and eventually feel almost natural as one continues to practice acting like a confident person would act. This process might take many months or even a handful of years before it becomes a natural habit, but it is possible to do, and when it happens it is wonderful.

Another large point to remember when a person is attempting to act how they believe they would act if they were confident in social situations is that really what that person is saying is, “I am tired of this anxious and inhibited lifestyle. I am going to take charge of my life and start being a different person.” Even if that does mean faking and being someone that one is usually not, that is okay, for a while.

Many people may read this article and wonder why they are being encouraged to not be true to themselves. The socially anxious are particularly perceptive of other people’s behavior, and can often notice when other people are not being themselves, often noting these persons as being “shallow” or “fake.” Then this article comes along, and it seems to be urging the readers to be just that. What the reader should keep in mind in this article is that people play many tricks on themselves. Sometimes, playing a trick on one’s self, in this case pretending to act how one would if he or she were socially confident, is perfectly okay if it is used to achieve a positive end. Sometimes, the means do in fact justify the ends, especially if the means are not harmful to the person and the ends have a high positive reward for that person. Also, keep in mind that the person is not causing any harm to him or her self or others when doing this. Being confident and able to have fun in social situations is a skill that all people enjoy having, whether they realize it or not.

In sum, keep in mind that pretending to be confident can lead to one forming the habit of being confident, and that is a good thing for that person. Using this strategy, one can drastically change the course of one’s life, and of course, if one strongly objects to usage of this tool as an anxiety recovery mechanism, one need not employ it, as many others are available from which to choose. Good luck to all those who struggle with social anxiety!

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