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Dysfunctional Roles of the Anxiety Sufferer: The Victim

The person affected by social anxiety or any anxiety disorder plays many games with him or her self that prevent further progress in regard to anxiety reduction. The role of the victim is yet another role that anxiety sufferers will take on which impedes progress; here’s what it is, how it works, and what steps one can take to minimize its impact on his or her life.

While it is true that anxiety sufferers are often the victim of unnecessary scorn or disdain from others, the anxious person’s view of his or her own life must be constructed such that he or she can move forward. Most people have had a friend, or have done it themselves, such that they know what it’s like to play the role of the victim. In a highly dramatized manner, this is how it goes: “Oh woe is me. Surely no one has had a harder life than I. I am just overwhelmed by the stresses of life and am doomed to a lonely and worthless existence.” The victim believes that he or she has suffered some set of extreme circumstances such that it is not possible to lead a successful life based on what has happened thus far. Since everybody picked on them in grade school and made them feel horrible, or since they had bad parents, people who are playing the victim claim there is no way for them to have a happy life like others. Every time something does not go their way, it is because the world is somehow working against them in order to ensure their failure.

Persons playing the victim role are really looking for sympathy, but very few people give them little, if any, sympathy. The impression that the victim gives off is that no one has led a harder life than him or her, and that things will never get better no matter how hard they try. It is an attention-seeking behavior that most people do not buy into. Anxiety-sufferers, like everyone else, have had their own share of struggles. However, no matter how tempted one is to play the victim role, he or she must remember that others have their own struggles, and that many people have actually had a harder life. It is important to acknowledge that one has had a difficult time, but at some point, one must acknowledge that it is simply time to move on.

Yes things are hard, and yes things often do not work out, however, this is what everyone experiences. Most things never work out the way that people want them to, however, sometimes things work out much better than people want them to. It is important to keep an open mind, to let go of the way one wants to life, and to instead be open to what is happening and ready to respond to what life may bring.

Anyone who is willing to work at it can and will recover from an anxiety disorder. When things are not going well and the world seems to be working against the person in question, it is a good time to voice this concern to someone who is willing to listen, be it a friend, family member, or mental health professional. A trusted friend will give the emotional support needed, reassure the person that everything will be okay, and finally will help that person to identify future courses of action to take in order to again make progress. Good luck to everyone as they seek anxiety support!

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