Connection

All social anxiety-sufferers struggle with challenges in social situations. For many, making the slightest bit of conversation is an incredibly anxiety-provoking task. Some methods to help on reduce his or her anxiety have been covered by many different sources, and here is another good one to use: connection.

What is connection? Connection is when two people are on the same wavelength and seem to have much to talk about even though they have only known each other but a short time, or perhaps even just met. Connection is difficult for the socially anxious to spot because they have had so few opportunities to connect with other people.

How does one spot connection? The process can be tricky, but once one connects with another person, it is very obvious. The place to start is to identify what one's interests and talents are; some people may not even be able to list one, but never fear because that just means it is time for that person to figure out what his or her interests and talents are (everyone has some)! This means that this person is going to have to get out in the world and join groups, volunteer, or go to classes in order to identify which skills he or she will excel at. This is a perfect opportunity to grow as a person in terms of identifying one's talents and reducing his or her anxiety.

Once one has identified his or her talents, then it is time to find ways to use these talents to be around other people. Connection is most likely to happen around one's interests and talents and people will enjoy and admire another person who is talented at a similar skill. For example, a person might be blessed with the patience to help tutor disabled children after school; this will allow the opportunity for this person to break out of his or her isolation and enter the world with others, while also helping children to grow as people. Another example might be someone who is athletic joining a running club. This offers the opportunity for that person to increase his or her skill, exercise to reduce his or her anxiety (see ASN's Anxiety & Exercise), and also to socialize with other people, who could possibly suffer from social anxiety themselves.

While identifying one's skills and finding ways to use them in the real world is likely to enable one to make friends and grow as a person, it is not a guarantee. The person who joined the running club in the previous paragraph will have a higher chance of making friends at the running club, but maybe the people at the running club are really rude or very bad people such that friendship with them is not desirable or worthwhile. If one thing does not work out, the person needs to decide where to go next; decent people who want to take the time to make friends with others exist, but often times they are hard to find. Remember the rule: if a person can find one friend who will stick with him or her through good and bad in a lifetime, then this person has had a successful life in terms of making friends.

Connection, while not required for friendship, makes it very easy. If one is a skilled socialite, he or she can talk to anybody and have a good time, but for those who have a tougher time in social situations, connection and having things to naturally talk about makes conversation less anxiety-provoking and easier to perform. People who do not connect can nonetheless be friends.

Clearly, connection is very beneficial to those who suffer from social anxiety, but finding it can be hard. Just remember to keep at (see ASN's All in Due Time and Do Your Part) and know that good things will come, and eventually something good will happen! Good luck out there to social anxiety sufferers!

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