The Anxiety Support Network
Getting better one step at a time
   Home      Articles      Podcasts      About      Contact     

Avoidance Increases Anxiety

One important roadblock to recovering from social anxiety and all other anxiety conditions is avoidance. Why do people not want to do certain things? Because they are too boring, stressful, or disinteresting or unmotivating in some way, shape, or form. Avoidance can create a vicious cycle of increasing anxiety levels, and the following paragraphs will show just how that happens.

Say there is something that is causing one anxiety, a particular situation or person. For purposes of this article, say the cause of the anxiety is a person who has a difficult personality at work; perhaps this person goes out of the way to tease and bother others, which for those with social anxiety causes many problems. The best thing to do, in order to address the situation, is to talk to the person in a calm and direct manner, letting him or her know that the behavior will no longer be tolerated, and that one will go to his superiors if necessary. In some cases, this person will respond by apologizing for his or her behavior, while in others, this person will blow up and refuse to take responsibility for his or actions. The latter case is the one the person with social anxiety focuses on, and often times this anxiety is so great that he or she is so scared of confronting the situation that he or she decides to not confront it and let things continue as they are.

If the person causing problems were a decent person, he or she would realize that his or her behavior is rude and bothers others and that he or she should probably stop, but many people are not that way and do not stop unless specifically instructed to do so. So, since nobody else has expressed his or her displeasure with this obnoxious behavior, the behavior continues. The person with social anxiety is too scared to confront the situation, and the more the person thinks about the situation and yet does not express his or her feelings about it, the more anxiety that person experiences. Anxiety is a response to a situation that hides one’s feelings, making that already hard situation even more difficult.

The increased anxiety levels lead to increased stress and decreased relaxation, and that only makes life more difficult for the anxious person. The best way to address an anxiety-provoking situation, be it in relation to people or events, is to step up directly and face it in a calm and assertive manner. For the anxious person to confront an anxiety-provoking situation with a calm and assertive stance is incredibly difficult, but nonetheless, it is the best way. Why is it the best? Because having this type of stance towards a person or situation allows the anxious person to be open and receptive to the other side, and the other side open and receptive to the anxious person. This allows those on both sides of the difficulty to be heard, which also allows for a satisfying resolution for both sides. Avoiding the situation leads to increased anxiety and tension, which can cause the situation to blow up entirely. Addressing it directly and calmly allows for the best opportunity to have a fair resolution to the situation, although it does promise success.

One interesting form of avoidance, procrastination, can also be based on anxiety. College students in particular are familiar with this. Procrastination is consistent avoidance of a person or situation that a person does not want to face, for whatever reason. Sometimes this can be anxiety; perhaps the assignment is too hard or focuses on concepts that are difficult for the student to grasp. Although procrastination can be based on anxiety, it is not based exclusively on anxiety. One may simply find homework boring or too time consuming, which is a different reason for procrastinating.

The point to take away from this article is that avoiding an anxiety-provoking person or situation only increases one’s anxiety towards that person and situation. In order to relieve the anxiety, a person must confront the person or situation directly. Now that the reader has a clear understanding of avoidance, keep in mind to stay tuned to the Anxiety Support Network in the future in order to read how-to guides on how to confront anxiety-provoking persons and situations!

Discuss this article or ask questions in the anxiety forum!
*clicking this link will open a new window


Bookmark and Share



Free Anxiety Support Network Newsletter Sign up for the free Anxiety Support Network Newsletter which will help you to achieve higher and new levels of living. Improve your mental wellness, make new friendships, find new romantic relationships, enjoy a fulfilling career, and improve your health! Also, receive the 2008-2009 Article E-book for FREE!

Note: You can easily unsubscribe from the newsletter at any time by following the link at the bottom of the newsletter e-mail or by following this link (clicking the link will open a new window).




Overcoming Anxiety - Victim Reveals His Story

The Anxiety Support Network 2011
Free Newsletter  |  Links  |  Privacy Statement  |  Disclaimer