Dan’s transformation from lonely, anxious, and terrified to happy, serene, and free


Inadequate. Unworthy. Alone. Afraid.

Those five words describe how I felt most of my life.

Much of it was spent on the outside of others. Everyone else had a girlfriend or boyfriend.

I didn’t even know how this happened.

Seemed like I couldn’t do anything right for authority figures.

Performing to my full ability in public? Not a chance.

Bosses laughed at my mistakes. Some enjoyed going out of their way to increase my misery.

Got fired from my first two jobs.

I couldn’t even understand why people worked jobs because of the misery they caused me.

Everyone seemed to give me weird looks. I didn’t feel like a good person. In fact, I usually felt worthless.

Despair. Hopelessness. Dread. Even suicidal.

Felt sorry for myself too.

Life’s milestones seemed to come to others with ease. For me, it passed right on by.

What the hell was going on? And how would I stop it?

I was just a spectator. Anxiety ran the show.

Sound familiar?

Great! You’re in the right place…

Fast forward a few years, and I’m now happily married, have two dogs, own a house, and enjoy my work

My wife Bekah, and our two Great Danes. Zara’s the mantle (black) and Henry’s the harlequin (white). ‘Twas a fine Wisconsin day for a walk in the woods.

It’s not a blissful paradise. I still have challenges and stresses. But I’ve now got serenity, joy, and happiness I never had before.

And life gets better by day.

How’d it happen?

Why’d I do a complete one-eighty, no longer being a slave to fear, while others stay trapped in a prison of social anxiety for nearly their entire lives?

It wasn’t easy.

In fact, it was downright death-defying.

Can’t tell you how many times I knew things would never get better.

I seemed to have a grip on anxiety. Then, I’d see it coming (again). Tried to stop it. Yet, found myself run over by it – despite having full awareness social anxiety would not help and was not what I wanted to do.

Somehow, a woman (Bekah) agreed to marry me (now 7 years ago). I became indispensable at work. Felt more connected with others – even those I didn’t know well. Got my ability to feel relaxed in public situations.

Bought a home.

Have a few groups of trustworthy friends.

The happy Stelter family now standing in front of our house – sans Zara (our other Great Dane). Oh, and our two cats, Apollo and Athena, are missing too. They don’t care for Henry that much. But Henry likes them a lot.

Generally, I’m a happy guy.

Now, sleeping easy at night. This even though I’ve got financial problems. Frustrated clients. A wife whose health mysteriously spirals out of control.

Not a perfect life…

But a far better one than before.

I’d never trade today’s problems for yesterday’s.

Peace in the midst of trouble.

Confidence I’ll make it through.

No more shame or guilt.

Don’t hate myself.

In fact, I like me.

Yeah, things are as good as they can be.

How’d I get to a place of peace, happiness, and freedom from social anxiety?

The truth?

Hard work. Including countless mistakes and failures.

Things got better. Slowly. Over time. Bit by bit. Inch by inch.

Bekah and I visited Lincoln’s tomb. She has a great sense of humor. I think Abe could take a joke. Makes her the “cool” wife!

But the journey’s been well worth it.

And that’s what this website is all about.

The answer to conquering social anxiety differs a little for everyone.

And no matter how severe your anxiety (even if you constantly feel petrified), you can get better.

You can be happy. Joyous. Peaceful. And free.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Your fellow anxiety sufferers and I will be with you the entire way.

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